Miss Smith and the Classroom Incident

I vividly recall Miss Smith, my primary school teacher, standing before the class with a collection of paintings. Somehow, I felt her gaze on me, as if she knew which artwork was mine. Although I can't remember what we were painting, I do recall that mine looked disastrous—perhaps it was smudged or ran.

After the break, she held up one of the paintings and proclaimed it a "right mess."

"Who did this?" she asked, smirking.

There was no way I could admit it was mine.

As she methodically held up each painting, one by one, they were claimed. I remained frozen in fear.

“God help the pupil left at the end of this,” she commented mid-way through, and I silently begged for divine intervention.

When all was said and done, only one frightened eight-year-old girl remained—the one who dreaded the impending consequence.

“What’s wrong with you? Why didn’t you speak up?” she asked, her voice echoing in the now-silent classroom.

All I could muster was a weak, “I forgot.”

And thus, she told the entire class, “She forgot.”

Maybe they laughed, or perhaps they felt sympathy for me. Regardless, the incident has haunted me for more than fifty years, and I haven’t touched paint since. I often wonder how this experience has limited me in other aspects of my life.

Our Brain's Protective Mechanism

Reflecting on this incident leads me to ponder whether this moment contributed to my overall dislike of school. While it may not have been the most humiliating experience, it certainly shaped my perception of rejection and inadequacy.

Our brains instinctively seek to protect us, steering us towards pleasure and away from pain. In that moment, my brain didn’t register Miss Smith's behavior as an isolated event; instead, it categorized it as a painful experience. Consequently, I began to associate school, painting, and judgment with discomfort. Even today, my mind tries to shield me from similar situations.

How to Release Rejection and Limiting Beliefs

As we grow, our beliefs and personalities are molded by our experiences. By adulthood, many of these beliefs become outdated, much like software that requires updates. Here’s how I have learned to let go of this memory, along with any limiting beliefs or negative recollections that arise.

Step #1 — Is the Event Relevant Today?

Does Miss Smith still exist? Perhaps, at her age, she remains somewhere out there. I genuinely wish her well.

Am I still her student? No.

Am I still eight years old? No.

Is she still humiliating me? No.

In truth, she never actually did; that was merely my own timidity at play.

Conclusion: Nothing from that moment carries weight in my present.

Step #2 — Who Cares?

I’ve come to realize that I am likely the only one still fixated on this story. I doubt Miss Smith or my classmates think about it anymore.

Conclusion: No one is concerned with my past.

Step #3 — What Has Changed?

I am no longer eight. I’m an adult now. I have the freedom to choose whether or not I want to paint. If I decide to create a piece of art and it doesn’t turn out as expected, I can simply start over and correct my mistakes.

Conclusion: I am in charge of my own choices.

Step #4 — Do I Need Protection from Rejection?

As an adult, I understand that life involves imperfections. People may hurt me, reject me, or disappoint me, and I may experience embarrassment. This is a natural part of life.

Conclusion: I am capable of handling rejection, so I no longer require my brain to shield me.

Step #5 — What Should My Brain Do Now?

My mind needs to recognize that I don’t need to fear rejection anymore. The limiting belief stemming from this incident tells me I am unworthy of acceptance, which has been reinforced by numerous other experiences.

The challenge lies in facing those anxious moments when my mind begins to panic at the thought of potential rejection—whether it’s engaging with a stranger or asking for a discount in a store.

When these thoughts arise, I:

• Acknowledge their presence.
• Take deep breaths to reassure my nervous system.
• Reaffirm to myself, “I can do this,” and “Everything will be alright.”

With time, I’ve noticed a gradual decrease in my anxiety about trying new things and meeting new people.

Final Thoughts

The incident with Miss Smith was simply the first of many moments when I felt rejected throughout my childhood. There were countless others—being compared to my younger sister, parents who rarely expressed love, and the loneliness of walking to school alone while others boarded coaches for trips.

These experiences are part of life, and we cannot alter the past. However, we do have the power to reshape our beliefs about ourselves and our capabilities. By taking charge of our thoughts and emotions, we can unlock a greater potential than we realize.

Is it time for you to unleash your own power?

Explore the impact of rejection sensitivity and dysfunctional family dynamics on personal growth in this insightful video.

Learn essential insights about rejection that everyone should be aware of in this enlightening video.