Chapter 1: The Struggle with Email Overload

Luis found himself overwhelmed by a sea of emails, looming deadlines, and the constant weight of anxiety. Each day began with him crafting a lengthy to-do list, yet he often spent his time managing client emails instead of tackling those tasks.

He sought my coaching support after two years of running a successful web design business. While he had achieved financial stability and collaborated with esteemed clients, his passion projects—a children's illustrated book and a podcast—remained untouched. Whenever he attempted to start them, the flood of emails and phone calls pulled him back under.

Luis appeared successful on the surface, yet he felt enslaved by the demands of others. He shared that he received around 150 emails daily, which he described as "out of control."

Many of us can relate to Luis’s predicament. The continuous influx of emails can feel like both a wealth of opportunities and an overwhelming burden. For Luis, it often leaned toward the latter, making it difficult for him to focus on what truly mattered.

We delved into the reasons behind his behavior. Luis had cultivated a reputation for being prompt and courteous in his responses, leading him to believe that others expected immediate replies.

He also recognized that responding to emails temporarily eased his anxiety. The sight of numerous unread emails was enough to disrupt his peace of mind. He felt compelled to address them to regain a sense of calm, yet the cycle never ended, perpetuating his stress.

As I often share, "Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." — Viktor Frankl

In Luis's case, the stimulus was the barrage of unanswered emails, and his response was to engage with them. He felt no time to pause, which stifled his personal growth and freedom.

However, we are not mere automatons. Each of us can introduce a small measure of space between external triggers and our reactions. If Luis could momentarily silence the noise of incoming emails by closing his inbox—even with unread messages lingering—and take a deep breath, he might reclaim control over his day and create space for his cherished projects.

Luis expressed his willingness to experiment with this approach. We agreed he would dedicate the first 20 minutes of his morning to address urgent emails, then close his inbox for several hours. (Pro tip: Utilizing tools like Boomerang to pause your inbox can help you avoid distractions from new emails!) He would need to manage the anxiety that arose from ignoring his inbox, so we devised strategies like listening to calming music, taking walks, and affirming: "I have the power to choose my routine." He would check his inbox again in the afternoon for another 20 minutes, allowing any unaddressed emails to wait until the next day. If certain emails continued to be postponed, it might indicate they weren't as crucial as he once thought.

Luis also committed to reflecting on his anxiety management. Inspired by Glennon Doyle's concept of "easy buttons" versus "reset buttons," he agreed to create his own lists. The easy buttons offered temporary relief but ultimately failed to address the root issues, while reset buttons provided genuine, lasting comfort—similar to indulging in a chocolate bar that satisfies momentarily but leaves you hungry again soon after.

Chapter 2: Progress and Insights

Luis returned two weeks later with promising news. By closing his inbox, he found time to draft a proposal for his podcast! He began to rethink his immediate reactions to emails. He realized that responding instantly gave him a false sense of productivity, while in reality, his clients were perfectly fine with a 24-hour delay. This shift in mindset allowed him to respond more thoughtfully, enhancing the quality of his communications.

Notably, Luis discovered that he did not need to be constantly available to his clients. He started to feel safe delaying responses and, in some cases, not responding at all. Additionally, he embraced his reset buttons, which helped alleviate his overall anxiety.

While this journey is ongoing, I look forward to reading Luis's children's book next year!

In our fast-paced world, we all exhibit compulsive, work-related behaviors. Whether it's obsessively checking social media, constantly refreshing emails, or feeling compelled to respond to every text, technology is designed to keep us hooked, delivering frequent dopamine hits with notifications.

If you aspire to regain control over your workflow, consider this advice: carve out that essential space. Opt for a reset button instead of an easy button. Train your mind and body to prioritize your needs alongside those of your clients. This approach doesn't imply neglecting your responsibilities; rather, it emphasizes self-care, enabling you to provide high-quality work for your clients while maintaining your well-being.

Reflect on your own reactive behaviors in business. How are they affecting your focus? What would it feel like to pause and breathe before responding to messages? What underlying fears drive your immediate reactions? How can you nurture yourself in these moments?

Sending solidarity,

Jenni

Curious about my background? I'm a writer and business coach for freelance creatives based in Central Oregon. I have two small children and work part-time to spend time with them. Lately, I've been focused on non-linear business building and helping individuals create successful enterprises that align with their human needs first.

This is an excerpt from my free newsletter, Mindset Mastery. Explore my coaching offerings here, follow me on Twitter & Instagram, or download my free business planning workbook for creatives!

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